Today someone commented on one of my photos and simply said, “Why?”. I could only assume that they were asking me why I am on this journey. Why am I outside during the middle of a coastal winter naked? The deeper answer to this question will come over time. But the short answer is simple.
I am on this journey to Rewild myself. I was married at the age of 20 to a man much older than myself. We had been in a relationship since I turned 19. My first marriage was savage. It ended on a brutal note and I rapidly fell in love with Mountain, the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
Last year Mountain and I made some choices that forever changed our relationship and our marriage ended. We are working on re-building our friendship. We are re-shaping our lives individually while trying to co-parent. He is still in the Midwest. I am on the West Coast of Canada. We are no longer lovers. I literally lost the other half of myself.
Which brings me to this very moment. I was talking to my sister about the Gary Oak tree that I have been photographed in front of recently. It was once two trees intertwined, but something happened (I wish I knew what) and now those trees are laying beside each other. Their roots lay side by side yet they are no longer connected. It is interesting that I feel so drawn to this particular tree at this time in my life.
It is healing for me. There is something primal about stripping down to nothing but my bare skin and connecting with nature that feeds my soul on an incredibly deep level. The fact that I feel like I have lost half of myself speaks to my need to:
So here I am. Raw, open, and vulnerable. But I am also strong, vibrant, and slowly but surely, my wild spirit is returning.
I hope you are having a beautiful Sunday!
From my heart to yours,
The first picture of me is in Fairfield, Iowa and the second one is here in BC in front of the tree I was speaking of.